The nights when he couldn't sleep were the hardest. His brain wouldn't shut off all the anxiety, fear and grief. Those were the nights he thought about how much he missed his mom and dad and how horrible it must have been for them and all those other people when they knew the plane was going down. That was when he worried that he wouldn't do anything meaningful with his life to make his parents proud. Mostly, that was the time he wondered how he was going to die and whether or not anyone would care when he was gone.